So… What Is Pegging, Really? A Beginner’s Guide (With Zero Judgement)
Ever found yourself wondering, “Is pegging something I’d actually enjoy?” Or maybe you’ve Googled it in incognito mode more than once. Either way, you’re not alone, and this post is here to guide you through the what, why, and how of pegging without shame, pressure, or awkwardness.
Let’s talk about pleasure that flips the script in the best possible way.
What Is Pegging?
At its core, pegging is when one partner (usually with a strap-on dildo) penetrates the other partner anally. It’s most often talked about in the context of a woman penetrating a man, but that’s not a rule. It’s a vibe. Pegging is about giving, receiving, and exploring new power dynamics, sensations, and roles.
A Quick History Lesson (That Doesn’t Suck)
Let’s rewind to the late ‘90s. A groundbreaking porn film called Bend Over Boyfriend hit the shelves, showing women using strap-ons with their male partners and enjoying every second. It was cheeky, educational, and for many viewers, the first time they’d seen pegging framed as playful and consensual.
A few years later, sex columnist Dan Savage noticed the act didn’t even have a name. So in 2001, he ran a public poll in his “Savage Love” column asking readers to vote on what to call it.
The winner? Pegging. And just like that, we had a word and a way to start talking about a kind of pleasure that had always been there but never had a name.
Is Pegging Just for Queer or Kinky Folks?
Nope. Pegging is for anyone curious about anal play, regardless of gender, orientation, or experience. That means:
- Straight couples who want to flip roles
- Queer folks exploring new dynamics
- Couples trying strap-ons or dildos with harnesses or mounts
You don’t need to be into kink or super experienced. Just open-minded and ready to communicate.
Why Do People Love It?
- Mental stimulation: Power play, role reversal, emotional connection
- Physical pleasure: Anal nerves + prostate = mind-blowing potential
- Communication: It sparks real conversations about wants, limits, and turn-ons
- Exploration: It’s a gateway to discover what else your body (and relationship) is capable of
Let’s Break It Down: The Practical Bits
1. What You’ll Need
- Strap-on harness (comfortable, secure, easy to adjust)
- Dildo (start small and smooth. Godemiche’s Morpheus or The Peg, our slender, finger-like dildo, are great shout-outs for beginners)
- Lube (and then… more lube. Silicone-safe, thick, and long-lasting)
- Time and trust. This is not a rush job. Make a night of it.
- Optional: Enema or douche. If feeling extra fresh helps you relax, go for it. Not everyone uses one, and you definitely don’t have to. Some people find a quick rinse boosts confidence and comfort. Just keep it gentle and avoid overdoing it.
2. Communication Comes First
Talk before you touch. Discuss boundaries, signals to pause or stop, what turns you on, and what makes you nervous. Use humour if it helps. It’s okay to be a little awkward. It means you care.
3. Warm Up is Non-Negotiable
Start with fingers, small toys, or just external stimulation. The receiving partner needs time to relax, breathe, and get used to the sensation. Think slow walk, not speed run.
4. Strap In (Literally)
Harness on, lube up, take your time. Go slow. Watch body language. Talk. Laugh. Moan. Adjust. Repeat. This is not about performance. It’s about connection and pleasure.
Common Myths (And the Truth)
Myth: Pegging makes you gay
Fact: Orientation is about who you’re attracted to, not what you enjoy in bed. Pegging doesn’t define your sexuality. It expands your pleasure.
Myth: It’s painful
Fact: With lube, patience, and the right toy, pegging can feel amazing. Discomfort is usually a sign to slow down, breathe, or re-lube.
Myth: Only kinky people do it
Fact: It’s for anyone curious. Being open-minded isn’t a kink. It’s healthy.
Our Top Pegging Tips (From Folks Who’ve Been There)
- Start small – A slim dildo first. Bigger comes later if you want it.
- Use mirrors (optional) – Seeing each other can add intimacy and control.
- Switch it up – The giver doesn’t always have to lead. Play with tempo, pressure, and positions together.
- Black toys or condoms for peace of mind – Let’s be real. Sometimes a bit of mess happens, and that’s normal. Using a black dildo or slipping a black condom over your toy can make any potential residue way less visible. It’s a simple trick that helps some people feel more relaxed and focused on pleasure, not what might be showing.
- Positions matter – Doggy, spooning, or lying on the back with legs up are all good beginner-friendly angles.
- Aftercare is sexy – Cuddles, water, a chat. Make space to reconnect after.
Still Got Questions?
Totally fair. Pegging is personal. It’s okay to be curious, cautious, or even a little unsure. Whether you’re just thinking about it or ready to strap on and go, know this:
There’s no right way to get off. There’s just your way.
Want to Explore More?
Check out our beginner-friendly Morpheus, our slender The Peg, or browse our Prostate Play 101 Guide for Getting Started with Anal Play.
Because your pleasure deserves confidence, not shame.