Does penis size matter?

The average penis size? Well actually that kind of depends where you live in the world but roughly it is somewhere between 5 and 6 inches long when erect with the average girth being 4 and 5 inches when erect but just how humans come in all shapes and sizes the same is true for our genitals regardless of which ones you have they will be as unique to you as your face is. However when it comes to penis size a lot of people who have a penis seem to worry about if their penis is the right size but what even is the right size and does penis size matter when it comes to having sex with a partner?

Sex is not just penis in vagina

Your penis size does not matter if you have more strings to your sex bow than just putting your penis inside someone. What is often referred to as foreplay is really just all part of having good sex and finding out how your partner likes to be touched and what things turn them on will result in both of you having a much better time. Most people with vulva’s don’t orgasm from penetration but require clit stimulation to achieve orgasm so develop your finger and mouth skills and you can give your partner mind blowing pleasure in so many different ways.

What makes you feel good?

Just as spending time communicating with your partner about what they like and how they like to be touched being able to do the same in return and talk about what you like is just as important but to be able to do that you have to know. So spending time learning your body and exploring what floats your boat is a really important part of developing a good sex life with a partner. Buy yourself some sex toys, read some erotica, spend time with your body getting to know it. Then share all that knowledge with your partner and together hopefully discover more pleasure that is unique to that relationship. Don’t forget that you have way more pleasure zones on your body than just your penis. Do you like your nipples played with? Maybe you like your balls touched in a certain way and of course there is lots of pleasure to be had by exploring anal play.

Porn is not real

Yes sure porn is real people having sex but those people tend not to be very indicative of the average human being. They will often have been picked for the role because their body type is a certain way and that includes their penis which is highly likely to be in the top end of the spectrum when it comes to both length and girth.

Do not ever compare your body and/or your penis to those you have seen in porn. It would be like comparing yourself to an Olympic gymnast, these people are professionals and the porn they make is essentially a fantasy of what real life sex actually is like. Also lots of porn performers with a penis will often use erection enhancements to help them stay so hard for so long and they are well practiced at delaying their orgasm so they can fuck for long periods of time. Oh and don’t forget lots of porn is edited to make it look a certain way, so flattering camera angles, skin that has been oiled to make it look shiny and lots of personal grooming to remove body hair. It might make for good porn, although that is debatable too, but it makes for a terrible place to compare your body, penis size or sex techniques.

Sex toys make sex better

A bold statement I know but one that I absolutely believe is true if you get the right sex toy for you, your partner and for you as a couple. For example if your partner has a vulva and likes the sensation of feeling stretch and full then invest in a bigger dildo to help you achieve that. How big? Well that depends on you and them but I am fairly sure it would fun experimenting to find an answer to that question. Or maybe they like the idea of being penetrated in both holes, then a butt plug of anal dildo is going to totally float their boat while you fuck.

There are lots of toys for people with a penis too and many designed for vulva’s that can actually be adapted for use with a penis such vibrators. Lots of people with a penis find vibrations along the shaft of their penis and especially underneath the head to be a really intense sensation.

We know sex toys are not always cheap but we really do recommend them as a great way to expend your sex repertoire and really fun thing to explore together with your partner that has absolutely nothing to do with your penis size but is all about pleasurable sensations for everyone.

Fetishising penis size

This is one where potentially your penis size does matter because either yourself or your partner or hopefully both of you are turned on by the size of your penis. For some penis owners being teased or taunted for the size of their penis, usually in reference to it being small, is a hugely hot to them regardless of whether they actually have a particularly small penis or not. The taboo nature of it just makes it really exciting to them.

Likewise some people find a large penis something they have a fetish for and will seek out people with large cocks in order to fulfill their fetish.

Whilst society has mostly taught us that large penis’ are somehow better or more desirable in fact the truth is far from that. For many people a particularly large penis can be an issue as being penetrated by one can actually be uncomfortable or even painful. This is true of both vaginal penetration but also anal penetration in particular can be very difficult and even impossible for many people if the penis in question is very big. So whilst the idea of a large cock might seem desirable the practicalities of it are not so straight forward.

Basically your penis size is not the most important thing about your body but especially when it comes to having pleasurable sex for both yourself and your partner. Learning what your partner likes, knowing your own body and being open to exploring and learning together are the keys to great sex, not the size of your wang!

Molly Moore

Molly Moore – Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly’s Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss