As part of Wankuary month here at Godemiche we have decided to answer some of the most common masturbation questions that we have been asked. Earlier this month we wrote about how masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo activity and gave you some ideas about how you can enjoy masturbating with your partner but we know that there is still a lot of shame and harmful information on the subject still out there and so we thought tackling some these common questions might help towards de-stigmatizing the wonderful joy of sexual self pleasure.
Is masturbation normal?
Masturbation in humans is completely normal. In fact humans are not the only mammals who masturbate it has been observed behaviour in dolphins, bears, female ferrets and many species of primates to name just a few. Even before children reach puberty they often discover that touching themselves feels good and nice. It is really important not to shame then for this behaviour because it is completely normal and natural which is the message you should share with them whilst also explaining that it is something people tend to do in private. Masturbating is not only normal but has been shown to be beneficial in many ways which leads me onto the next question
Is masturbating bad for me?
The simple straightforward answer is no, unless you are doing it in such a way as to cause physical damage to yourself. For example some men develop a too tight grip when they are wanking and this can lead to decreased sensation and some women have reported that using a vibrator all the time makes it harder for them to come without that vibrator. Both of these issues are easily corrected by changing habits and rarely cause long term harm.
Masturbating is actually the opposite of bad for you. There is research that shows masturbation is beneficial to health in a variety of ways. Masturbation can: release sexual tension, reduce stress and anxiety, promote better sleep and strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas. There is also lots of evidence that people who masturbate regularly report being happier in other aspects of their life, have more fulfilling sex lives with their partners and also more positive body image and self esteem.
Masturbation also helps you figure out the things you like when it come to sex and the more you know about what you like the better. Where do you like to be touched? How much pressure feels good? How fast or slow do you like it? Learning how to have orgasms on your own make it much easier to have one with a partner, because you are much better placed to tell or show them exactly what feels good for you.
Am I masturbating too much?
This is a common worry for many people and I think it comes from the fact that we often feel like we are the only ones wanking because it is not something people tend to be open about. The chances are all your friends are probably jerking off just as much as you are, if not more, but because you don’t know about it it’s easy to feel like your masturbating habits are unusual. Unless the amount of wanking you are doing is causing problems in your every day life such as being late for work, impacting getting things done that you need to accomplish or stopping you from socializing, then the amount you are doing is absolutely right for you. There is no ‘right amount’ when it comes to masturbating. For some people it might be daily or even more than once a day, for others it might be a few times a week and for some it might be even less but if that amount is your choice and what feels good and right for your body then you shouldn’t worry about it.
Is it OK to masturbate if you are in a relationship?
Absolutely definitely yes. Masturbating is a sexual activity but not the same as sex with a partner, although it can definitely be part of the sex you have with your partners but it is not a replacement nor does it jeopardize a relationship. Your partner is not cheating on you if they are touching themselves unless you have negotiated that as part of a power exchange relationship but even then I would suggest that maybe it is something that you might want to seriously consider not restricting because it is such a normal healthy thing for people to do. Orgasm denial is however a fairly popular kink for many people but being absolutely clear about your boundaries when it comes to masturbation is vital to keep everyone happy.
Masturbating with your partner or even talking about it with your partners is a great way to explore each others sexual desires and needs. Also mutual masturbation with a partner can be a great way to be sexual with someone without risking an sexually transmitted infection or pregnancy.
Is it OK to masturbate when I am on my period?
There are lots of myths surrounding menstruation and masturbation but they are most definitely myths. The simple answer to this masturbation question is, if you feel the desire to masturbate during your period then that is what you should do and if you don’t then that is OK too. For many women masturbation helps with relieving the pain from period cramps and also can encourage your flow too. Some women experience increased sexual drive during their period, and so masturbating can be a way of relieving some of those desires but for some women the absolutely opposite is true and they don’t feel remotely sexy or sexual during those days of their cycle. As with most things when it comes to this subject what feels right and good for your body is what really matters.
Wanking is wonderful
Despite the shame and secrecy surrounding masturbation the truth is that having a wank is a normal and healthy thing for people to do. It is beneficial physically, mentally and sexually and there are no real adverse side effects to getting it on with yourself. It is only problem if it starts to interfere with your daily life or impact your relationships in a negative way, although if that is because your partner doesn’t like you doing it that is actually a problem your partner needs to address. If you are worried in any way about your body when it comes to masturbating then you absolutely should talk to a health care professional about it or if you feel like it is causing a problem in other ways then maybe seeking out a therapist to talk to could also help but apart from that enjoy your body it whatever and however often way feels good and pleasurable for you and if you have other masturbation questions just let us know in the comments below or feel free to email us.
Molly Moore – Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly’s Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss