Living Your Best Solo Sex Life

Surviving the pandemic is nothing short of amazing for all of us. We’re all stronger than we were before, but it comes at a cost. Many of us don’t have sexual partners, which is why the sex toy industry is booming. We realize that having a solo sex life is still a good sex life. Now is the perfect time to embrace your solo sex life. It’s important to keep in mind that this does not mean your sex life is less than a sex life just because another person is not a part of it. Pleasuring yourself is still a valid and important part of your sex life, solo or otherwise. Now, there are a lot of toys to enhance solo sex that can be utilized in play sessions. 

Solo Sex is Real Sex

Years ago, I went into my local sex shop looking for ideas about what toys I’d like to review. When I told the salesperson, I mentioned that I didn’t have a sex life, and they stopped me right there. “A solo sex life is still a sex life,” they said. I still carry that revelation to heart. 

I’m a sex toy reviewer, and I have a vibrant sex life. I’ve found that with each toy, I learn a little more about myself. I now know that I can squirt, that I like A-Spot stimulation with thrusts so hard I feel like I cannot take it. Now, thanks to masturbation, I know I like rumbly, broad vibes. Not everyone is as lucky as I am to have all these toys to play with, but here’s what I want to share with you: You don’t have to have 300 toys to have meaningful sex with yourself. 

Adding in sex toys is a way to enhance your sex life. Perhaps you don’t know what your body will like: now is an excellent time to embrace your journey to pleasure. Not everyone is into penetration; some of us prefer vibrators with no penetration, simply clit stimulation. Still, others prefer anal stimulation with or without vibrations. Perhaps you’ve never had anything in your butt or have never used a stroker. Now is a good time to explore new ways to stimulate your body. The possibilities are truly endless. Getting to know your body is a truly invaluable experience.

I’ve found that there are several perks to using sex toys. That being said, sex toys certainly aren’t necessary for solo sex, but I find they liven up my masturbation sessions and give me, myself, and I room to explore my body. 

Spice up Your Solo Sex Life

Here are a few things you can try to spice up your solo sex life:

1. Try some different positions. If you were with a partner, chances are you all mix it up a bit. Why not try that with yourself? If you raise one leg while you’re flat on your back, then relax both legs. If you usually hold your masturbation prop with your dominant hand, give your secondary hand a try. 
2. Use your imagination before masturbation. Read a new erotica book or write an erotic story that turns you on.
3. Discover new sensory triggers that turn you on. If you’ve always been somewhat submissive, watch some porn that features who’d you’d be as a participant if you were dominant. Seeing other people act out something you haven’t tried before may stimulate a part of yourself that you didn’t know you liked.
4. Exploring masturbation allows you to go on the prowl for your first – or more of many – sex toys. Reviewing sex toys has enriched my life, and I hope that finding toys helps your sex life. When looking for toys, consider what your hands, washing machine, shower spout, corner-of-the-couch, etc., can help you find what you like. If you have no clue what you may want, then educate yourself on safe sex toys and have a look around the web. 
5. Read other reviewers’ experiences. It is a great way to learn the multitude of ways you can use a sex toy safely, and the reviews often make for a fun, unique read. When you get a sense of what that reviewer likes, you’ll be able to figure out what quality sex toys may work for you. Using your solo-sex time can give you much more time to explore yourself, and having new toys, especially a range of them, can help you grow as a sexual being. Again, though, your hands are plenty enough if that is your preferred method of self-pleasure.
6. And, finally, if you’re into partnered sex, this allows you to get to know yourself so you will know how to coach your partner(s) to help give you the pleasure you’ve learned to give yourself.

Although I’ve included ways to have your exploration help you when you have partnered play, I don’t mean to suggest that that is the end goal here. Some of us just don’t want to have a partner. We may be aromantic or in a time in our lives when single is the best route to take. 

Partnered Sex isn’t What Makes Sex “Sex”

Partnered sex can certainly be fun, but it isn’t everything. Being able to take care of yourself can be a priceless treasure. We all deserve pleasure, and we all deserve to know that solo sex is very much valid sex. There are countless toys out there in the sex toy world, and it is your playground. You can get whatever you think will suit your body, and along the way you may find a toy that rocks your world or new ways to stimulate yourself manually. Happy exploring! 

Rose

Rose (she/her) is a sex blogger and sex toy reviewer at onherback.com. You can find her lurking around the internet and scribbling furiously in a new notebook every week.