“Does a strap on harness spark your interest? Well, you’re not alone. Strap on sales are one of the leading in the sex toy industry.
With more and more heterosexual couples becoming interested in pegging play, people are beginning to talk openly about their fantasies, struggles, and experiences.
Surfing the internet it seems, more men fantasize about pegging than there are women who are willing to strap on a dong . On the other hand, I’ve come across many women who wish their man would consider it.
Bringing a strap on into your bedroom can be an anxious moment for a couple. However, once you both begin to feel comfortable with the idea and begin to explore, it can bring a whole new dynamic to your play time.
Mindsets are often the number one thing that hinders us from exploring new pleasures. When it comes to strap on play they often include preconceptions like, if a man enjoys anal stimulation, he must be gay or bisexual. Nothing could be further from the truth. Enjoying P-spot stimulation or the feeling of anal penetration is simply because of the nerve endings that are stimulated which create pleasurable sensations. Everyone’s body has areas that bring feelings of excitement. Indulging in these pleasures, has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Another mindset that needs to be broken is that men who enjoy anal stimulation are ‘sissy boys’. Quite the contrary, a man who’s open to this type of stimulation is confident in his masculinity and doesn’t feel threatened by this type of play. Did you know that in ‘Old England’, it was totally acceptable for men to wear makeup and wigs? In other cultures, it’s normal for men to wear skirts. It wasn’t even too long ago that men in America wore stockings. Somehow, in the modern Western World, these things are labeled as feminine and inappropriate for ‘a man’ to do.
It seems that all too often, men are thought of as the one to be dominating in the bedroom. Although this may be the norm, men don’t always want to take the leading role. Have you ever heard the term“ she was an animal in the bed”? In fact, many men fantasize about being flipped over, pinned down, and take advantage of. The idea of giving up control is very erotic. Letting go and forgetting about stereotypical roles can be a liberating experience for both genders.
When talking to others about pegging play the number one thing I hear is “How do I get my partner to open up to it ?” Whether you’re a man who is curious about the P-spot orgasm, or you’re the wife who wishes her man would give just an inch and think about it; here are a few things that just might help to pave the way.
Try dropping a few hints to your lover and gauge their reactions. Say things similar to… ‘I had this dream last night … that’s crazy; huh?’, or ‘So you want me to try anal sex? That means you’re open to receiving too?’ You could even try watching porn clips involving pegging and talk about it how it might be interesting to try or write them a love letter packed full of your erotic fantasy. Opening the door to talking freely about thoughts, fears, and more; is the perfect way to address mindsets that may be blocking your fun. Who knows, you just might find out that it’s been their fantasy all along too.
There are a few things that you can do to give your partner a hint of good anal stimulation can feel. Such as, during oral sex, slowly move down and lick the perineum area then move on to anal rimming. Take it slow and savor the moment, it’s sure to help your lover relax and enjoy the erotic sensations. You can even use a vibrator to stimulate this area. As they become comfortable with enjoying it, moving on to penetration may be easier.
Sometimes I hear women say, ‘I wish it felt good for me too’. Did you know, there are things you can do to receive stimulation during pegging. Try tucking a bullet vibrator or slender clitoral vibrator behind your harness; the dong should hold it nice and tight in place. Also, you can use a strapless strap-on in the traditional way or with your harness. With the pony end, you receive erotic pleasure with each thrust. Use your imagination, experiment and try different toys to use while you peg your partner; I’m sure you’ll find one that works it’s magic just right for you.
Our journey into pegging play has been a bumpy one. Falling into the typical mindsets, I resisted Hubby’s desires for years. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after years of marriage that I finally agreed to explore with him. To my surprise, it wasn’t long before I became completely comfortable with it and began embracing my inner ‘Butch’. Feeling sexy and able to fulfill Hubby’s desires, when I wear my dong it’s natural and not like a foreign object strapped onto my body. A complete 180 degree turn from how I felt before, now I look forward to our pegging. Hubby and I never miss out on a chance to strut my dong and satisfy his kinky desires.
This blog post was originally written by Lori and published on ThatPosition.
Unfortunately, Lori doesn’t write anymore, so we can’t link it to her website.
