As part of Sexual Health Week 2017, the focus of which is porn, we have invited a number of different people who are involved with the adult industry to come and chat to us here on our blog. We are delighted to welcome Chris QK as the first one of those people in this series.
1.Introduce yourself for those people who don’t know who you are?
My name is Christopher, AKA Chris QK (@quietlyKinky). I am 35 years old & currently live in South Wales. I took an interest in human sexuality roughly 13 years ago and took it to a professional level around 2015. I’ve also performed in pornographic films & appeared on Channel 4 (SexBox) and All4 (Top Dad). Currently I work closely with Goedele Liekens, the UN Ambassdor for Sexual Health & Education on a European project for enhancing sex lives & breaking down the conversation stigma surrounding sex. I also provide psychosexual, fetish & kink coaching, helping people of all backgrounds discover comfortable, safe and consensual methods of exploring their inner-most sexual desires that people would ordinarily be too afraid to talk about, much less explore.
2. How did you get into porn?
My initial journey into porn was via the ‘amateur’ route where I posted various pictures & video content to twitter. Over time some professional studios made contact and the rest became history. I’m a bit of a hedonistic exhibitionist so it fits well to work in front of the camera as a performer as well as behind the scenes in productions.
3. Are there any special preparations you have before a scene?
Psychologically, I need to be in a place of ‘pure sexual desire’ – When I achieve this, I am able to shoot any content with almost anyone. I do this by deep breathing exercises and pelvic floor exercises to improve blood flow and get the sex hormones flowing nicely.
4.Were you nervous on your first porn scene?
Surprisingly, no! The scene environment was super relaxed and myself and the scene partner were given the chance to essentially get on with the sex with minimal external direction. Though, this is far from the norm!
5.Have you ever dated a fan?
I’ve never dated a fan, but I’ve slept with one or two
6. Sexual Health week say ‘Porn is made to look good not feel good’ what are your thoughts on that?
For the most part, sex feels good regardless, provided both parties are in to it and enjoying the act itself. With that said, some shoots I’ve done have had emphasis more on the visual stimulus for viewers and so some acts/positions can feel a little ‘off’ and not so much fun.
7. Do you have any sex tips for people reading?
Communicate, communicate, communicate! It’s vitally important that sexual partners have a good, clear line of communication (and consent) in order to be able to share a truly rewarding & fulfilling sex life. Fear is the biggest barrier to sexual exploration, so opening up with a partner in a safe space can go to great lengths strengthening the trust and passion which will inevitably translate to a deeper sexual life.
8. How do you handle being a father and being an adult performer?
As I mentioned above, I was commissioned for a documentary by All4 with Ashley Walters (Actor, musician) to discuss this very question. My son (who is now 15) has been exceptionally accepting of my career & largely has no external issues put onto him by his peers. His general attitude is ‘it’s a job, it pays the bills’. He’s been wonderful overall. It also allows a much more open and accessible discussion path for when he has questions or misunderstandings about sex. As schools tend to fall short of any real sexual education, it’s great that he feels able to talk with me to fill in the blanks
9. How different is porn sex to real sex?
Porn sex is ‘real’ sex. Insofar as that two people are engaging in sexual activity! However, it’s probably very fair to say the acts depicted in a porno will rarely be successful when replicated at home. The point of porn (in my opinion) is to arouse, stimulate and – ultimately- get you off. I don’t believe it should be used as the gold standard ‘sexual manual’ of how sex is for the vast majority of people. It is an excellent way to discover new likes, kinks and fetishes though which I fully support. Porn is NOT bad at all. It’s the poor education around the use of porn that is the issue.
10. Do you feel men and women are treated differently in porn? Are there expectations that each are expected to live up to?
It’s an odd one this. Both males and females can and are stigmatised in various ways. Over the last 3 years I’ve come to discover that a lot of people assume because a person shoots porn they’re basically up for sex with anyone, anywhere at any time. Obviously this is not the case – though there will always be exceptions. People like sex! – but in that respect it’s actually worse for women than men. The public at large have a horrible perspective on women in porn, that they just simply must be ‘broken’ or ‘coerced’. Or they have ‘issues’. Whilst I can’t argue that in a small minority of people this may be the case, the vast majority are in this industry because they choose to be, enjoy it, find it rewarding/satisfying and it opens up their world to a large population of judgement-free, open minded/like minded people. I’ve also found that men in porn are treated as ‘cool’ but women are oftentimes treated as ‘sluts, slags and whores’. I firmly blame society hypocrisy for that one
11. Tell us one thing about the porn industry that might surprise people?
Shoots can take FOREVER! People watch the end result movie of 15-45 minutes and genuinely believe it was one fun take. Rarely is this the case. Stopping and starting, changing angles for the camera to have a better view etc. Some sex positions can look amazing when viewing the finished film but can be really awkward (and sometimes painful on the muscles!) to actually shoot. It’s not unrealistic for one shoot to take 4-5 hours in reality, to cover everything a particular production is aiming for. It’s also not massively unusual to film the ‘cum shot’ first!
12. What are your goals after leaving porn?
I’ve already begun transitioning into alternative sexual education, which was always my end goal. The journey into the world of porn has given me so much insight and understanding I otherwise wouldn’t have had the chance to receive. For that, I’m very grateful.