Ejaculation is usually associated with one of two things: a male penis or a racy porn scene. It’s time to break the stereotype and talk about vulva-owners and their wonderful ejaculating orifice! Don’t worry – female ejaculate, squirt, is not urine, entirely. Although still unclear, female ejaculate fluid has been demonstrated to contain urine, and may also contain a combination of other fluids as well. Unlike in porn, squirting can be more of a gentle gush or a small trickle, rather than a geyser-like action. If you and your partner are wanting to switch it up and take a ride on the squirting wave, here are some hot tips on just how to get there:
Ask your partner about their previous experiences with squirting and female ejaculation – if they’ve had any, what their experiences were like, what they used to get there, etc. Your genuine interest in their experience is GREAT foreplay. And foreplay doesn’t just have to start once you hit the sheets. Send sexy texts throughout the day so your partner knows you’re thinking of them and that you can’t wait to play later.
Connect with your lover and ask what would help to get them ready for a play session. For some, in order to get their head into bed, they need to feel relaxed, taken care of, nurtured, or loved. Some partners can be distracted by dirty dishes or to-do lists as it can take them out of their headspace, so light some candles, clean up the space, or put on some playful music to get the vibes and squirt going.
If you’ve used toys or vibrators in the past with your partner, ask them to bring their most favorite ones to your date night. And if you haven’t, then now might be the time to inquire about making a purchase that will benefit both you AND your partner. (The Ambit was designed specifically as a g-spot dildo and can hit that right spot when it comes to getting your partner to squirt) Blindfolds might be advised to help your partner focus more on all the sensations to come!
Not to be skipped! Once your partner is getting in the mood, take some extra time to warm them up. Focus on their non-erogenous zones first before exploring their genitals. Start at their neck and work your way down their collar bone, over the chest and stomach and then down past their genitals. Don’t give in just yet! Kiss in between their thighs and then onto their kneecaps and down the rest of their legs. Stop at the feet (or don’t!) and then move back up to the body part of your choice.
Once you’ve sufficiently warmed up your partner, start to explore their vulva. Everyone’s different so consider some clitoral circling, stimulating the g-spot, or using a toy to make your partner feel gooood as can be. Use two fingers, in a come hither motion, to find the g-spot, which is towards the front wall of the vagina. Notice their body language as an indicator of what feels good for them: their breathing, wriggling and their hand movements.
Opting for your usual missionary or doggy style might not get the squirting job done. Any position where you can easily reach the vulva for manual stimulation is optimal. Same with positions that enable you to hit the front vaginal wall – reverse cowgirl or modified doggy, with the vuvla-owner lying flat on the bed.
Once you’ve hit that sweet spot and your partner has gotten those squirt juices flowing, keep hittin it! Your partner may feel a tingling sensation once you have started to hit the G-spot, almost like they’re going to urinate. Keep on truckin and allow them to push past this feeling. If the waterfall doesn’t flow or you run out of steam, don’t worry! Take a break and come back to it. Or there’s always next time. Don’t put any pressure on your partner to make this dream come true. Focus on the pleasure you’ve performed and the new skills you’ve put to the test!
Queen P currently resides in Portland, Oregon. When she’s not writing sex advice articles, she’s usually playing with kittens and baking in the kitchen.
