One of the best things about sex toys is that, as long as everything is consensual and you pay reasonable attention to safety, there is no wrong way to use them. Perhaps you’ve found an amazing way to play with a toy that isn’t listed in any of the retailer’s instructions. If so, awesome! I believe that the best sex is about play and creativity.
At first glance, it may seem that Godemiche’s Grind Rings are designed with a very specific purpose in mind: for wearing around a penis and providing extra clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.
But what if you’re a single person without a penis, in a relationship where both of you have vulvas, or just in a dynamic where penis-in-vagina sex isn’t a part of how you play? Well, that’s where getting creative comes in.
Here are just a few of my favourite ways to use a Grind Ring that don’t require a dick to enjoy them.
To explore different sensations and learn about your body
One of the biggest reasons I’m a huge advocate for masturbation and solo sex is because it’s such a fantastic way to learn more about your body and your responses. People with vulvas are, unfortunately, often only presented with one view of the “correct” way to enjoy sex. That’s why so many people end up feeling “broken” if they don’t orgasm from penetration, even though this is actually completely normal and even typical.
Sex toys offer a way to try out all kinds of different sensations that cannot be achieved with bodies alone. Each of the Grind Ring textures produces a very different sensation, from the relatively gentle to the quite intense. Grab a few different textures and take the opportunity to explore how they all feel.
Which ones do you like the most, and why? Are there any you don’t like? If so, what about them doesn’t work for you? What happens if you use them in a different order, try them in different positions, use tingling lube or arousal gel, or use them in combination with different toys?
All of this is hugely valuable information, as well as being lots of fun to explore and experiment with. Learning about the different types of stimulation your body enjoys is one of the best ways to have better sex, both solo and partnered, in the future.
To enhance strap-on sex
Almost anything that can be done with a factory-installed penis can also be recreated with a strap-on. If you and your partner enjoy strap-on sex, adding a Grind Ring can be a great way to bring clitoral play into the mix while keeping both your hands free.
Just slip the Grind Ring’s loop around your strap-on dildo and have sex as you normally would. You might need to try out a few different positions to figure out which ones are the most optimal with the ring. I find that the most effective positions are the ones with lots of close body contact, such as missionary or receptive-partner-on-top.
While the original concept for Grind Rings was for them to provide extra pleasure to the person being penetrated, they can also be used to enhance the experience for the dildo wearer (who may not otherwise get as much direct genital stimulation) during strap-on sex. Simply spin the ring around so that the loop is around your dildo and the textured part is facing your body and positioned against your clitoris, and you’ll get direct clitoral stimulation every time you thrust into your partner.
Don’t forget about anal play, too. Clitoral stimulation can be one of the best ways to make anal penetration more pleasurable for receptive partners who have a vulva. If you’re doing anal strap-on sex, stimulate your or your partner’s clit with a Grind Ring (see a little further down to learn more about using your Grind Ring as a hand-held toy.)
As a ride-on masturbation toy
Not everyone wants to masturbate lying down on a bed or sofa. However, there are still relatively few sex toys that lend themselves ideally to a seated position. But the Grind Ring absolutely delivers in this department.
What if you’re writing or reading smut, having cyber-sex with a partner, or just find yourself feeling horny during a work-from-home day? Simply slip your Grind Ring onto your chair beneath you, and you’ll be able to get off right there at your desk.
I mostly use my Grind Ring on a desk chair (put down a towel to catch any stray fluids!) But the Grind Ring works well for solo play against any firm surface that you can straddle. The arm of a sofa, the side of a bathtub, or a toy mount (such as those sold by Liberator) are all great options. Try things out to find what is most comfortable and enjoyable for you.
Turn it into a vibrator
How can you make a great sex toy even better? By adding vibrations, of course. There are a couple of easy ways to pair your Grind Ring with other toys in your collection to turn it into a vibrator.
If you have a high-powered wand vibrator such as a Magic Wand or Doxy, slip the Grind Ring’s loop around the handle to secure it and then place the ring’s main body, textured part facing out, over the head of the wand. You can then either put this on a surface such as your bed or chair and grind on it, or hold the wand and ring against your vulva in whatever position is comfortable for you.
Another option is to place the Grind Ring over your vulva with the textured part against your body, and press a powerful vibrator against it. I find a small but mighty bullet such as the We-Vibe Tango works best for this.
And now there’s the new Grind Ring V-Plate. This buzzing add-on turns your Grind Ring into a vibrating toy at the touch of a button. And, because you can use it with any Grind Ring and it’s easy to swap out, you only need one no matter how many of the ring designs you own. Get yours here.
Hold it in your hand
If texture feels great to you but grinding isn’t your thing (or you just don’t have the energy today), you can also use your Grind Ring on yourself or your partner as a hand sex toy. Use the loop as a handle or slip it around your wrist, and use the textured part of the ring for all-over vulva and clit stimulation. I’ve found this to be a great way to get maximum sensation with relatively little physical effort on bad pain or fatigue days when I still want to get off.
Experiment with different hand movements, such as circles or back-and-forth rubbing, and try out different levels of pressure to see what feels best.
Remember that silicone can be a little “grabby”, so adding plenty of lube will ensure a comfortable and pleasurable experience.
Grind against a different part of their body
Let’s face it, grinding on your partner’s body or having a horny lover grinding against you is hot as hell. Grinding your bodies together allows for plenty of close, skin-on-skin contact while you kiss, make out, or talk dirty to each other.
If this is part of how you play, you can put your Grind Ring against any part of your body that your partner might wish to grind on. I find that upper thighs work particularly well for this, but you can be as creative as you like.
Put on a sexy show for your partner
…or have them put on one for you.
If you have a little bit of an exhibitionistic or voyeuristic streak, getting off in front of your partner or watching them get off in front of you can be seriously sexy.
There are so many different ways to do this, depending on your dynamic and what you’re both into. Hold your partner and whisper sexy sweet nothings into their ear while they get themselves off with the Grind Ring. Sit back and relax while you watch them get hot, sweaty and aroused as they grind away. If you’re the dominant kind, give them precise directions on positions or how fast or slow to go. If orgasm control is your thing, tell them to keep grinding but not come until given permission. And so on.
Use your imagination
The bottom line is that there is no wrong way to play with a sex toy. Manufacturers’ instructions should be taken as suggestions, not prescriptions. The only correct way to have sex is the way that works for you and your partner(s).
So use your imaginations, try things out, and get as wild and kinky and creative as you like. And if you come up with another brilliant way to use your Grind Ring that we haven’t thought of? Please let us know!
Amy Norton (she/they) is a sex writer, blogger, and pleasure product afficionado who has been running her site, Coffee & Kink, since 2016. She is a polyamorous, queer femme and lives in the UK with her nesting partner, cat, and frankly ridiculous collection of vibrators.