In kink as in other aspects of like you never know exactly what might be ahead but you can make sure things go more smoothly by thinking ahead and preparing as much as you possibly can. It’s not just about what kit you need or being equipped for an emergency, Victoria Blisse gives us a guide to being kink prepared to help you get the best kink experience possible.
One of the first questions you’ll ask yourself is where are you going to play?
If the answer is at home, well then you need to prepare your space for play. Clean up, get out the fluidproof sheets, towels, soft blanket or anything else you might need to make your experience more comfortable.
Your play might be something you can only do outdoors. If you want to be tied to a tree for example, you gotta go to where the trees are. If you’re outside your home remember that public decency laws exist. You need to keep away from places that you might be seen by a passer-by who hasn’t consented to being part of your scene.
- Keep off the beaten track
- Keep clothed/partially clothed so it’s easier to dress if someone does come close by
- Have someone else be a look out for you
If your plan involves a St Andrew’s cross and you don’t own one, for example, your next step is to look for venues.
Decide if you want to pay for private dungeon hire to have a whole space to yourself or if you want to go to an event. Most swingers clubs and dungeons will have regular events you can pay an entry fee for and then use the facilities within alongside other kinksters and this will be far cheaper than hiring space just for yourselves.
Check out what equipment they have in advance, what rules are in place and if you’ll need cash or if the venue is cashless so you’ll be ready and raring to go.
What do I take?
Once you’ve decide where, you have to decide what kit you’re going to need. Every person be they Dom or sub, top or bottom should have a kinky kit bag to take with them wherever they travel.
Choose your weapons! You won’t need every single item in your toy box. Take those you know you want to use. If you have agreed a specific type of play that makes this easier. If you’re not sure take a selection of your favourites/ones you know your play partner/s will love.
Emergency supplies such as paramedic shears and first aid kit or check there’s one at the venue. Hopefully you’ll not needed them but make sure you have them to hand or you know where to get to a first aid kit if needed at a venue.
Aftercare items such as sweets, chocolates and soft blankets. A good top always remembers aftercare, check your sweets are in date if you regularly carry them in your kit, so they’re fit for consumption.
Your favourite toys be they impact or pleasure or sensation toys. You’ll always have something to hand if the need arises. Especially useful if you’re going to an event and don’t have play lined up, you will have things to suggest and the equipment to do it too!
Your favourite aftercare treats, stuffie, blanket etc. Make sure your needs will be catered for as you know them best.
Painkillers, hygiene products, antiseptic cream etc for all those last minute emergencies that you can’t predict but you can bet your bottom dollar will happen at some point.
Everyone should remember to have all medications they might need on them such as inhalers and epi pens. Let your play partner know too so they can administer them if needed.
And everyone should have a selection of condoms and lube on them as that’s the ultimate item on the being prepared checklist!
Be Risk Aware
When you’re off playing with someone on your own let someone know where you are and who you’re with. As a further precaution arrange a time for them to check up on you via a call or text. This is especially important if you’re playing with someone for the first time.
Always have a mobile phone near where you’re playing in case you have to call the emergency services.
Check you have the keys before locking anyone in restraints.
Have safe signals for if you’re unable to talk. Tapping the person or a specific series of grunts can work or having keys in your hand you can drop and they’ll make a noise so the top will notice.
Do your research! If you’re trying something new being kink prepared means thoroughly look into it first online or even better in person with someone experienced.
Always expect to do some kind of aftercare with a person. It will look different for everyone but make sure you have time to provide what they need not just directly after the scene but in the following days. Drop can hit at any time for both Doms and subs so, you guessed it, be kink prepared.
What else might you need to think about ahead of a fun scene? How can you be even more kink prepared?
Victoria Blisse (she/her) is known as the Queen of Smut, reverend to the kinky and is the writer in residence at Cocktails and Fuck Tales. She’s also an angel. Ask anyone.
Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.
Find out more at: victoriablisse.co.uk