Our new product is cumming and so should you
With our latest product soon to be launched on January 1st (and an extra special discount waiting for you on Christmas day), we felt it was time to stop with all the Britishness and make masturbation less of a taboo subject. We want to start that conversation, encourage safe, healthy, exciting sex, and break down the stigma attached to sexual intimacy.
It seems that it’s not as widely accepted to talk about penis stimulators as it is to talk about dildos and vibrators. Sex and masturbation should be celebrated regardless of your gender. So in January we are hoping to start better conversations about masturbation.
The OffBeat is a affordable, handmade, personalised masturbator that comes in Venti (for long slow shaft movements), and Grande (for circular motions around the head). It’s soft, squishy and oh so accommodating. And, it satisfies anyone going down on a dick too – it’s a different experience for the giver and new sensation for the receiver! Ergonomically designed to make it easy to grip, and to use, made of super soft silicone with lots of soft nubs for an amazing feeling, be sure to use lots of water based lube and ready yourself for a completely new feeling. Once you have finished with the OffBeat you simply turn it inside out and give a quick rinse and it is ready to go for the next time you are in the mood for a bit of play.
We hope that having an Offbeat will get you talking (when your mouth is not full) about the subject of masturbation in a more open manner
And since Godemiche is all about colour, select one to suit your sexual personality.
8 – UV: blue, magenta, orange, pink, purple, red, yellow, green.
12 – Pearlescent: pearl, black, blue, boltgun, bronze, copper, gold, green, purple, scarlet, yellow.
6 – Standard: black, clear, dark green, navy blue, red yellow.
Couples can finish off a date night in a new way with Offbeat, have a posh wank… together, and treat themselves to more than just porn. But most importantly, it’s all just for you. With Offbeat you can enjoy yourself to the fullest, even when there’s no one else around to give you a hand.
We want Offbeat to resonate with you, we want you to have a giggle, and we want you to speak openly with others about something that shouldn’t be hidden away on the top shelf of a wardrobe.
Did we mention that we want to start things off right? So we are launching the OffBeat with a 50% off discount on our official Pre-order launch date on Christmas day.
Give someone the gift of straightforward sex talk this year – start that conversation!
Remember, no matter what you do, always go offbeat.
Pre-order the OffBeat that suits you best!
I thrive on a lot of attention. Thankfully my man understands and delivers. Here is one of the many times I was hoping for a good fuck and got one.
We were on holiday without my date night clothes or make-up – just a red lipstick. All of our ropes, whips and sex toys were at home. Except for a green butt plug I always keep in my toiletry bag.
We did have one other thing on our side: imagination.
Knowing my place
Just when you think your sex life can’t get much better, it does, and you are left reeling at your good fortune in finding someone so in touch with everything you do…
Lipstick applied, I glance in the mirror. My skin has a sun-kissed, healthy glow so I choose white lacy knickers, matching bra and white shirt to complement my tan and head out to the kitchen. Smiling appreciatively at the sight of me, he serves dinner accompanied by a bottle of local sparkling wine. Delicious.
Afterwards, while chatting, he stares intently at me with his dark brown eyes. My heart immediately begins to race. Removing a rope fixture from the curtains he secures it around my neck with a cable tie (never travels anywhere without them). It feels tight now it’s in place and my breathing quickens in anticipation, but I know I can cope.
Leading me over to the sofa, he removes my shirt and pushes me to kneel. There’s a large wall-mirror hanging in front of us. Standing behind me he lowers the cups of my bra so the wire pushes my boobs higher. The effect is stimulating to us both. Then, as he pulls back on the rope around my neck, my tits are thrust even further forward. Before I have time to take in the sexy reflection, my knickers are yanked down and legs splayed apart. Fingers find my warm moist spot and intrude.
“Fucking slut, you’re as wet as can be,” growling in my ear.
He lifts his hand and firmly spanks my arse. Then his belt lands with repeated cracks on my bum and back. I scream, lowering my head into the rear of the sofa in pain. But I want more and inhale deeply as his cock enters me. I’m pummelled forward into the sofa cushions as he fucks me hard and fast for his own enjoyment.
Yanking me back by my hair he forces me onto my knees. His cock rests at the entrance to my mouth and I lick the tip. Our eyes lock and he taps the right side of my face with the palm of his hand. I know from experience this means he wants me to carry on, slowly and gently.
“Good bitch,” he sneers.
Taking it up a gear he secures my mouth firmly on his dick and vigorously propels forward. I begin to gag and splutter, he responds by smearing my cheeks with his saliva smothered cock.
I push my face into his stomach in an attempt to regain composure but am reminded of my place and ordered into the doggy position on the carpet. He’s behind me now, tongue between my legs, licking my clitoris and caressing the entrance to my cunt. Then he steers it into my anus. I moan out loud. This always gives me a small shock of pleasure because of its taboo nature.
He asks where I want him to put his cock next. The fucking was so good earlier I reply,
Grabbing the butt plug he slowly and deliberately presses it in my arse. Then pulling on to the tie around my neck, he enters my pussy, swiftly. My juices are flowing as he pushes in deep. Experiencing that bittersweet sensation when a man thrusts forward a little too far, I cry out, but he just shafts me more, spanking my arse cheek with each thrust.
“Fucked in both holes, you dirty whore,” he goads.
The feeling of fullness from wearing a butt plug increases the intensity of the fucking and I teeter on the verge of a climax. But adrenaline is pumping through my veins. At times like this sometimes it’s impossible to find a release.
He falls back on to the sofa and pulls me to him, pushing my head onto his cock. I massage it with my lips and tongue, as he sits back into the sofa cushions and relaxes. Very calmly he spurts into my mouth and down my chin, exhaling slowing.
Pulling me up to face him he kisses me passionately and tells me how much he loves me.
“Thank you for letting me have control of your incredible body.”
I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes knowing I am just where I need to be.
Anal douching/enema’s are something we talk about often but as a general rule we find no one knows what they are. So we have put together our beginners guide to anal douching/enema.
However if you prefer watching to reading then jump straight to the bottom of this post and watch our video on the subject
What does an anal douche/enema look like?
An anal douche has a bulbous base, the bulbous base is hollow and can be made of plastics, silicone or rubber. The bulbous base is hollow and holds a small amount of water. At the top of the bulbous base is a nozzle, water is squeezed from the base up through the nozzle and into your butt.
The body passes poo out the bum hole and douching is a way of cleaning your butt for anal sex. If your anxious about getting shit all over your dick then douching can help alleviate that concern. It’s also much cleaner for general penetration and also other things such as anal rimming.
Douching on a daily basis is not recommended as it can affect the intestinal microflora, disturbing the balance of your bowel. A simple and easy way for a cleaner dowel is a high-fibre healthier diet and less greasy foods will stiffen up your poo and greatly reduce the need to douche.
How to use a douche
Buy yourself an anal douche. We DO NOT recommend sharing anal douche even if it’s completely cleaned. Having your own anal douche reduces the chance of spreading intestinal parasites or certain STIs.
Fill the bulbous base with lukewarm water. Then carefully insert the nozzle in to your butt and squeeze in the water no need to squeeze in all the water. Pro tip, lube up the tip so it goes in nice and smoothly. Also make sure the water is lukewarm, cold water will give you cramps, hot water can scold your insides. With the water inside you, hold it there in your butt for a couple of seconds, standing up is easier to hold on the water inside. After a couple of seconds sit down on the toilet and release all the water. You need to get up and look at the water, if the toilet water is not clear then you need to repeat the douching process again, fill up the douche, stick it in, squeeze, release, check. You want to repeat this steps until the waters clear. If you have done this 6 time and the water is not clear then we recommend you accept today’s not a butt day and stop.
Take a couple of moments to make sure all the waters out. A common mistake is that they people don’t get all the water out and that water makes an appearance when your having anal sex. It’s not pleasant and avoidable so just take a couple of seconds to make sure it’s all gone.
Once the water runs clear then it’s time for a shower because you can’t be too clean when it comes to butt play. Wash your butt, don’t put soap in side your butt.
So that was our simple steps to anal douching. We hope it helps and if you have any questions please get in contact.
Douching really is as simple as it sounds you just have to take your time.
I am a flower
Blossoming under the sun
Swaying with breeze of life
Waiting in the rain
For a glimpse of sunlight
Catching morning few amidst
sleeping in nutrients to fulfil my knowledge
Growing stronger each day
I stand still
As I watch myself blossom
PS. This picture was taken in an early Sunday morning when we still had a nice sunny days in UK.
I am missing the warm brushes of the sun so much and I thought I will bring some memories for the time being of the cold weather outside.
I was on my own walking on the wet grass to set the camera and the opposite of the trees there are actually some houses.
I haven’t seen anybody but if so I think they had a great entertainment that Sunday at 6am;)
Check other entries for Sinful Sunday by kissing the lips
As part of our Sexual Health Week series, we are interviewing a number of people who are involved in the adult industry. Today we are chatting to Jasmine from Jet Setting Jasmine LLC. She is a life and work partner to King Noir, due to a very busy work schedule we couldn’t reach King Noir so Jasmine kindly decided to represent both of them.
1. Introduce yourself to those people who don’t know you.
Jasmine is a proud owner of Jet Setting Jasmine LLC, Royal Fetish Films and Body Altitudes Health and Fitness: Home of Steel and Stilettos Fitness™. She is a Licensed Clinical Therapist with a Bachelors of Art in Sociology, Masters of Clinical Social Work and Aging Studies. Her background in Integrated Human Studies has allowed an extensive professional career working with adult clients from a Solutions-Focused/ Exposure Therapy model. Steel and Stilettos Fitness™ , is a lower body workout and empowerment format to the world, the workout that lasts long after it is over. Jasmine’s unconventional approach to intimacy issues has allowed a clients to explore and address deeply rooted intimacy barriers.
King Noire, owner of Jet Setting Jasmine LLC, Royal Fetish Films and Body Altitudes Health and Fitness: Home of Steel and Stilettos Fitness™. There are many adult entertainers but only one who is as driven and passionate about pleasure as King. He began his career as a nude model for magazines and adult websites. King’s clients did not take long to introduce him to the BDSM community. The attractions to his dominate nature lead to request in their serving as his submissives and cuckolds. He enjoyed and learned a great deal during the years of live shows and fetish training. King is also an international recording artist & human rights activist (Hasan Salaam).
Jasmine and King are a two-time recipient of the FetCon 2016 Best Full Feature Length Film: Orally Yours & Collared in the Shadows.
2. How did you both meet?
We met on Jasmine’s radio show at the time, The Emotion Picture. She was doing an interview on behind the scenes of porn and King was a guest. After the show, we exchanged communication about the type of work we were doing and saw a good opportunity to work together. That was 6 years ago and we’ve been at it since!
3. What is it like to be in a relationship while doing porn with other people/your clients?
It’s like every other relationship –communication and honesty solve most anything! We discuss our shoots with one another to make sure it’s a good fit for our brand and our relationship.
4. How long have you been in porn?
King has been in the adult industry since he was 18. I’ve been in the industry for 2 years but in adult entertainment off/on since 1998.
5. Do you have any rules in your relationship to keep you both happy?
Don’t bring in any mess, keep us safe and communicate—even when it hurts to do so.
6. Do you have a preparation routine before a shoot?
Testing Testing Testing! That is always first. Then grooming, we have to make sure everything is waxed/shaved and in the right places!
7. National Health Week has said ‘Porn is made to look good not to feel good’, what’s your thought about it?
There is some truth in that. When we shoot with other companies it is usually about what looks good for the camera. However with Royal Fetish Films we focus on the exact opposite, we want our scenes that feel good and in turn, people that are watching will feel the passion, chemistry and in turn –feel good also.
8. What was the best porn shoot you’ve been part of?
The best shoot for me has been Orally Yours. I really enjoyed King and all of the movement through space. We just enjoyed having sex and the woman that shot it captured the things I love about watching sex –the reactions, the whole body moving and then the close ups.
9. Are there any differences between black and white porn?
There is a difference in how it is portrayed and what roles are available to black vs. white actors/actresses. When the scenes are not scripted or marketed for passion, romance or relatability to the people watching them –that makes a huge difference. Black people experience love and a range of sexual fantasies and activities; these should be better represented.
10. What’s been a low point while on your journey to porn?
The low point has been realizing the level of racism in porn as well as some unsafe work practices of companies, talent agencies, and producers.
11. How do you manage parent life and professional life
We parent and manage as one would with any other profession. We do not schedule work that will interfere with important family events. We have great support from our friends and family when we travel. The kids are very much aware of the work we do and how to manage any negative attention.
12. What are your goals after your porn career?
We are living our goals concurrent to our porn career. We direct, film and edit too so there is so much we can continue to do in porn outside of acting. Both King and I have professional careers. He is an international recording artist, music & history lecturer and human rights activist. I am a clinical therapist and have dedicated my professional career to education and training of health care providers on intimacy and illness/injury and caregiving. We own and operate a health and fitness studio in Palm Harbor, Florida. So if there is an after porn career, we may just continue to expand our other areas of interest or new ones!
13. How different is Porn Sex from Real Sex?
For me—I usually don’t put on makeup or have lots of complimentary lights on for real sex! I also usually know the person I am sleeping with for more than an hour in the green room –usually! Lol, but when I am shooting for my own company –it is real sex and very exciting because of the exhibitionism that is involved. We are kinksters so having someone watch or tape us is pretty much real sex for us on a good day!
Strapon sex and pegging doesn’t have to the same old bend over boyfriend. Because of where the prostate sits in relation to the anus, different positions can give him a whole new experience. Likewise, incorporating sex toys into your strapon sex can be just whats needed to spice things up.
Also for an apprehensive partner, bending over can bring up intimidating images of ‘jail house bend over and take it’ scenarios. In this case using different positions is often the key to helping your lover open up to the pleasures that anal sex can hold for him.
Also, like typical PIV sex, different positions during strap-on sex provide different sensations and opportunities to take your strap-on sex to new levels of enjoyment.
Missionary is one of the easiest positions for strap-on sex. In this position, she can sit or kneel comfortably in-between his legs and not having to worry about keeping balance. Also, it’s easy to see his anus and guide the phallus in without having to awkwardly fumble around. With him on his back, there’s full access to his penis and balls and he has full access to her breasts. With a bit of imagination, this position can be incorporated in a variety of ways. Such as, a pillow can be positioned to lift his bottom up for easier access or he can even be on the edge of the bed with her standing-between his legs.
Cowboy is a fun position that allows him to be in the driver’s seat. With the female partner laying on her back and him straddling her body, he’s in full control of the angle, depth, and pace of penetration. This is ideal for those women who are a bit nervous about taking control. It can also be adapted to reverse cowboy to give him a different sensation.
Like a missionary, he’s fully exposed for extra stimulation and with eye to eye there’s connection and ease of communication between you both.
The lap dance is another great position that allows him to be in full control of the fun. With the woman sitting in a chair, he straddles her lap either facing her or turned around backwards. In this position, she can easily reach his penis for extra stimulation.
Tailgate is a good position for those who enjoy rear entry. With him lying face down and her lying on top of him, this position allows you have skin to skin contact. She’s in complete control of the penetration and can feel extra stimulation herself by grinding her clit against the dildo’s base.
Spooning is another fun position for the skin to skin contact. However, unlike Tailgate, in this position, his penis is exposed for extra stimulation. Spooning works well for couples of different body sizes and heights. When enjoying strap on sex in this position, penetration is shallow and a longer dildo might be needed to reach the P-spot.
Doggie style is probably the most common position used for strap on sex. Perfect for ladies who are new to pegging, this position allows her to easily penetrate and maneuver. It allows her to clearly see his anus, find her center of gravity and get used to the rhythm of thrusting. Also, it’s easy for him to stimulate his penis in this position. Doggie style is also great for those who desire to explore dom/sub role-playing, his bottom is up and ready to be spanked while you play.
In any position where his manhood is exposed, a sex toy can be add. Toys such as a Fleshlight can give him a whole new experience. Not only is he able to feel stimulation both anally and on his penis, it’s a fun way to fulfill a threesome fantasy without actually bringing in another partner. The Fleshlight can be held by either partner or in-between cushions to hold it in place.
Another fun toy to use during strap on sex is a wand; preferably cordless. With a wand massager placed on the dildo, the vibrations can be felt throughout the dildo to stimulate his prostrate and her vulva at the same time. A wand massager can also be held against his perineum or the penis’ head for more intense sensations. Although wands are fun to use in this fashion, any vibrator can be used.
You can take your strap on play to a whole new level by exploring dom/sub roles. Positions such as Doggie Style gives full access to his turned up bottom for a spanking. Using paddles, floggers or even a short crop can be just what your new sub needs to be a good boy.
These by no means are the only ways to enjoy pegging, virtually any position will work well. Use your imagination and be creative. Because of where the prostate is in relation to the anus, each position will feel different for him and open up new possibilities for extra stimulation.
There’s no right or wrong way to play. No matter what position you choose, remember, have fun and explore.
This blog post was written by Lori originally for ThatPosition (site offline).
When I first indulged in strap on sex with my partner, the intimacy and intensity of that experience were more than enough to have us hooked, but like any sexual activity, familiarity and repetition can dull that flame of lust. Not one to ever settle for less and being a firm believer that variety really is the spice of life, I set about finding new ways to add something extra to our pegging sessions and ultimately find new ways to elevate our arousal to whole new levels. Let’s take a look at some of the ways you can spice up your strap-on sex sessions.
Tips for the person wearing the strap-on:
The assumption is that if you are wearing the strap-on, you will receive very little physical stimulation when pegging your partner and in theory, this does make sense. After all, you are essentially buckling your crotch into a harness and maneuvering your body into various positions that don’t make it easy to reach your own genitals, let alone pleasure them. However, the beauty of strap-on sex is being able to penetrate your partner while at the same time having both hands free to provide further stimulation, connection, and warmth, so with a little imagination and some tweaks here and there, you can make a huge difference to your experience during a pegging session.
Let’s begin with the strap-on harness.
There are many different designs on the market and many manufacturers have given some thought to the pleasure of the wearer. You can find open crotch harnesses (jock strap harnesses, for example) that allow direct, unobstructed access to the genitals and even lingerie style harnesses like the Spare Parts Sasha, which come with pockets built in the gusset area. These pockets can hold small clitoral sex toys, like bullet vibrators. Look out for these options when purchasing your strap-on harness.
Of course, harnesses lacking the above options can still be experimented with. An example would be using the strapping material from harnesses that do cover the genitals (like the thong style, or lingerie style harness), to hold a sex toy in place. Depending on the strength and hold of the material, you could successfully use some harnesses to hold a flat based dildo, or a butt plug inside you and even hold a clitoral vibrator against your body. You might think that harnesses with an open crotch design would not allow for this kind of play but you can still create a similar effect by wearing a pair of tight fitting underwear beneath the harness itself. Experimentation is key.
Your position is also important.
There are certain positions that will make it much harder to access your genitals. An example of this would be him on top. Unless you have exceptionally long arms, you will find that his torso and thighs simply get in the way and your own legs tend to be squeezed together by his thighs anyway. Spoons position will allow you to reach down between your legs, but this position requires you to raise your leg to gain access and that can become tiring very quickly. In my experience, the most successful positions for self-pleasure is doggy style and my personal favorite; them on their back with a pillow under their butt, while I kneel between their legs. This position allows you to reach down between your own legs or alternatively, reach out to stimulate their genitals, while still maintaining eye contact.
Add something extra
Despite finding the perfect strap-on and discovering positions that allow for easier access, it can still be difficult to successfully pleasure yourself. If you are anything like me, you might find it difficult to maintain a rhythmic thrusting motion while trying to stroke yourself at the same time. This is where sex toys come in and one of the easiest and most enjoyable ways to stimulate your own genitals during strap-on sex is through the use of couple’s sex toys, like the We-Vibe 4 and the Lelo Tiani. These C-shaped vibrators are designed to provide a dual stimulation, as one section is inserted into the vagina and the other curves over your vulva, providing a direct and constant stimulation to your clitoris.
A variation of the couple’s vibrator and another sex toy I get a lot of pleasure from during strap-on play is the remote controlled love egg. (The Lelo Lyla is a classic example.) These oval shaped vibrators can be inserted into your vagina before you attach your strap-on harness and they will provide vibrations and stimulation to your g-spot as you thrust, move and even squeeze around them. Love eggs can also be used to stimulate your clitoris, in a similar way to bullet vibrators and thanks to their petite size, you will often find that they fit nicely into those pockets found on certain harnesses. If your harness does not contain pockets, simply use the strapping on your harness, or wear a pair of tight fitting underwear beneath, to hold the sex toy in position.
As you can probably imagine, being able to control your love egg (or any other sex toy) remotely is a huge advantage during strap-on sex, because once the harness is attached, it becomes a lot more difficult to make pattern changes manually. Having a small controller to click is so much easier and I am sure I don’t need to tell you just how exciting it can be to pass that remote to your partner and allow them to control your pleasure as you indulge them in theirs.
Spicing it up for the receiver:
We have proved it possible that the person wearing the harness can receive pleasure and spice up their strap-on experience, but what about the person on the receiving end? It might be said that the receiver is already enjoying themselves, but there are still a number of things you can do to add new sensations to the session for them.
Pick the right dildo
The most obvious thing to consider is the strap-on dildo. These dildos come in a wide range of sizes, shapes, and materials and choosing the right size is important for comfort and ease of use, but beyond this, you should also think about texture and the firmness of the material. Highly textured, firm materials will feel quite intense and imposing, whereas softer materials will conform to the body more, feel gentle and provide a more ‘realistic’ experience. You want to consider the psychological elements at play too. If you or your partner fantasize about being penetrated by a real penis, it would heighten the experience to purchase a dildo that looked realistic, or one designed to ejaculate. Heighten the fantasy and you will heighten the experience for you both.
Alternative options for temperature play include placing your dildo in the fridge, or into a basin of icy cold water for five minutes before use (Do not put the dildo in the freezer. Cold burns are painful) If your partner prefers a warmer experience, simply place the dildo into some hot (not boiling) water before play.
Lube is a must
Now, we all know that lubricant is a must for anal sex, but most of us will not consider how our choice in the lubricant can alter the experience. Silicone or oil based lubricants are among the best for anal sex because they do not dry up quickly and they provide a silky soft buffer that reduces friction. Silicone and water-based lubricants work best for vaginal penetration. For a completely unique sensation though, you should invest in some specialty lubricants that produce cooling, warming or tingling sensations on the skin. Always do a small patch test first, to ensure the sensation is enjoyable and then simply apply a few drops to the dildo, vagina or anus before you begin to penetrate.
Get things buzzing
If you are looking for a way to really ramp up the intensity that he or she feels against their prostate or g-spot, I recommend purchasing a vibrating dildo to use in your strap-on harness. The most common options for strap-on play include remote-controlled vibrating dongs, dildos with a hole in the base, into which you can insert a bullet vibrator and even strapless strap-ons (The latter are also great for providing internal stimulation for both partners at the same time), but if you already have a favourite strap-on dildo and want to experiment with vibration, you could always invest in a vibrating cock ring and attach that to the base of the dildo. Ensure you choose a fairly chunky cock ring, like the Lelo Bo, if you intend on using this for anal sex. You want to avoid any potential risk of losing the ring inside the anus.
Adding a spark
For the daring among you, who fancy trying something completely unique, I recommend introducing electro stimulation to your strap-on sessions. Electro stimulation uses pads, rings, and probes to provide a tingling electrical current that feels somewhat similar to vibrations and these devices can produce a whole range of sensations, from a gentle tingle to an extremely intense buzz. Some devices, like the Electrostim Flick, allow two people to create a circuit between their bodies and you can both share the stimulation from this device. Using an electro stim device in this way turns every touch into a tingling pleasure.
The best advice I can give you though is to never be afraid to experiment, laugh, love and learn together. Go into each session with an open mind and an aim to discover what pleases you and your partner, both mentally and physically. This way, your strap-on sex sessions will not only be mutually fulfilling, but orgasmic for you both.
This blog post was originally written and published by Gritty Woman.
Most of us have heard stories that tell of mind blowing orgasms from anal sex. However, for many, the first time trying anal sex is also the last. When considering the discomfort and sometimes sharp pains running through your bum when trying anal for the first time, it’s easy to understand why most people have only tried anal sex once. But, take it from me, your first time doesn’t have to be your last. With three simple golden rules, you can forget the ‘ouches or yikes’ and become an anal sex rock star.
#1 Go Slow – I know that it’s hard to slow down, especially when taboo territory is fixing to be explored. But, take it from a pro, going slow and taking your time is key to ensuring that both you and your partner have a positive experience.
#2 Warm Up – Warming up the area before you play relaxes tight muscles for what’s to come, making insertion easier.
#3 Lots of Lube – Slippery when wet. Lube helps with the initial insertion and keeps everything slippery making it more fun for both of you.
You wouldn’t believe the number of times that I’ve heard, “nothing goes in my butt, that’s for experts only, or that’s painful”. How can you argue with that? All of these statements are valid feelings. All too often, someone who’s an anal virgin finally warms up to the idea, only to find that it’s painful. Usually, this can be attributed to an overzealous partner who is also inexperienced and tries to force their way in past muscles that aren’t ready to open up.
The physiology is rather simple. The anal opening is controlled by the sphincter muscles which is designed to stay nice and tight. Unlike the vagina, these muscles take a bit of coaxing to open up and be ready for penetration. Going too fast and trying to force them open will only result in it being painful. But not to fear, there are lots of ways to warm up the area.
Just like foreplay helps set the mood, your ass needs a bit or attention before jumping in. A sensual booty massage, oral sex, anal rimming or even intercourse works well. Anal safe sex toys also work wonders. Such as, rubbing a vibrator over the perineum area and around the anal rim or using a butt plug. Butt plugs are especially helpful because they hold open the anal sphincter muscle allowing it to relax and acclimate to being open. I find them really helpful because I can insert a plug before our playtime and when the time is right everything is relaxed and ready. No one size fits all, butt plugs can be purchased in various sizes and shapes, which allows you to choose the style that will work well for you.
Going slow is critical to ensuring that anal sex is enjoyable for the receiver. For most, the first few moments after insertion is a make or break time. This is when people typically say it hurts and give up. If you are the giver do NOT jump in and start pounding away. Instead, take time to savor the moment and have patience. I know it’s hard to hold back, but believe me, your lover will appreciate that you let them take the lead. But just because they are taking the lead and going slow, doesn’t mean that you have to be bored. Kissing your lover and stimulating there other reachable erogenous zones goes a long way to keeping the passion up and helping your lover relax at the same time.
The last of our golden rules is lots of lube. This may seem a bit weird, especially if you’re not used to using lube. But believe me, lube and anal sex are best buds. Unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn’t lubricate itself. Instead, it’s lined with a mucous membrane. Although this works great to help move waste along the intestines, it doesn’t do much to help with the friction of sex. That’s where lube becomes your new best friend. It coats the rectum and provides a slick surface making anal sex much more comfortable. Lube is not just for comfort, using lube also helps to maintain your rectum’s health. Without lube, the thin mucous membrane is susceptible to tearing which increases your chances of contracting Hepatics C. Lube also helps to maintain the longevity of your rectum. Over time, having anal sex without lube can lead to what some refer to as a “worn out hole”. In a nut shell, constant friction and pulling of the sphincter muscle from anal sex without lube can cause the muscle to lose its elasticity making it unable to close tightly.
How much lubricant should you use? When having anal sex, you can never have too much lube. In my bedroom, when preparing for anal sex, we make sure to lube both the giver and the receiver. We apply lube before insertion and, many times, he’ll pull right back out and apply more lube. We always keep the lube close at hand in case more is needed while we play. Something I’ve noticed during both anal and strapon sex is that the bottom side of his member or my dildo tends to lack sufficient lube causing a bit of discomfort when penetrating. To make sure things are slippery and comfortable, we tend to go extra slow at first taking our time to apply more lube. It maybe be a bit messy, but it’s well worth a little mess.
Not one of my anal sex golden rules, but often a concern of those who are new to anal pleasures is the possibility of a mess. This fear is completely understandable, no one wants to discover an accident in the middle of their fun. Not to worry, with a bit of preparation, accidents are unlikely. Such as, having a normal bowel movement and using an anal douche to rinse the bits out of your rectum. Typically this is enough to ensure that things are nice and clean prior to anal sex. In all honesty, after a few years of enjoying anal sex on a regular basis, we’ve only had an accident a few times. Although it can be embracing, it’s not something to freak out over. For us, we keep a box of baby wipes nearby in case a quick cleanup is needed. Although it happens rarely, Hubby is always very kind about the situation and will help me relax before he excuses himself to wash off. Although the receiver is often freaked out to find that they’ve caused a mess, the giver typically realizes that it was unintentional and not the end of the world. However, if you are worried about the possibility, wearing a condom during anal sex makes for quick and easy clean up when needed.
When the topic of anal sex is brought up, it’s not something to cringe at. Following these golden rules will help ensure that it’s a positive experience for you both. Share them with your partner and use the rules to help open up a healthy discussion about anal sex. Equipped with knowledge before you jump in. I’m sure you’ll find that anal sex can be an extremely gratifying sexual experience.
This blog post was originally written by Lori and published on ThatPosition.
Unfortunately, Lori doesn’t write anymore, so we can’t link it to her website.
The picture was taken by Lori.
The release of ‘Bend Over Boyfriend’ by Dr. Carol Queen and the gang at Good Vibrations in 1998, seems to have sparked a strap-on phenomenon between heterosexual couples. With sales of strap-ons leading the way in the sex toy market, it’s clear that strap-on sex is quietly being embraced by our society. But where does the love of strapping on a dildo come from? Is it a newly discovered sexual pleasure?
1. Throughout the ages, there are signs and clues left behind of dildos being used to worship fertility gods, in rituals, for sex and were even used as baby mobiles in ancient Greece. Did anyone ever think to strap on one of these dildos? As with most of the humanity’s sexual history, the advent of strap-on sex is hidden within a few precious artifacts, ancient mythology, writing, and even paintings.
2. The oldest known relic that’s believed to be a strap-on is from the Upper Paleolithic Period; c10,000 bc. Among the many artifacts that appear to be dildos, a double ‘baton’ has been discovered with a hole in the middle. Archeologists theorize that this hole is for a strap to hold it to the wearer. There’s also a Japanese wooden strap-on dildo that’s been discovered.
3. Archeologists have also found an oriental double ended dildo carved from jade that date back to the 10th – 13th century. Being made from Jade, it’s clear that this was once a prized procession of the owner.
4. Ancient Egyptian mythology also gives a glimpse of strap-on pleasure with their belief that the ebb and flow of the Nile River was caused by Atum’s (the god of creation) ejaculations. This sparked the ritualistic ejaculation of Pharaoh into the Nile River. The strength of the rain was thought to correlate to the strength of the pharaoh’s ejaculation. It’s believed that to ensure an abundance of rain, the pharaoh’s wife would massage his prostate with a phallus while he sat on her lap and masturbated.
5. Clues of strap-on use are also found in murals decorating the walls of long forgotten brothels and bathhouses. In the Suburban Baths at Pompeii Italy, a mural has been unearthed which depicts a threesome with male anal penetration. Another mural at Pompeii that’s especially exciting, shows a woman penetrating another woman as well as males with a strap-on according to Roman Scholar John Clarke. These murals seem to prove that sexual exploration, as well as strap-on sex, was embraced and celebrated in ancient Italy. It’s no wonder the bathhouse was such a popular place.
6. Another ancient painting, from Athens and the Corinth Archaeological Museum, portrays a female figure dancing while wearing a strap-on dildo and a tail, before a seated Dionysus.
It’s believed that most ancient Greeks and Romans regarded women who took upon themselves the role of penetrating as having oversized clitorises to please their lover with. Roman mythology is also full of gender bending tales. Such as Hermaphroditus the son of Hermes (Roman Mercury) and Aphrodite (Venus) which is described as being both male and female. Also, Macrobius describes a masculine form of “Venus” (Aphrodite) who has a beard and male genitals but wore women’s clothing. Belief in this mythology survived through Greek and Roman cultures as seen is sculptures of Aphroditos, a female figure who pulls up her woman’s clothing to reveal male gentiles.
Not only through artifacts and art, strap-on sex is also found in many ancient writings. Such as in the poetry of Herodas, the 3rd century bc Greek poet. Found on recycled papyrus that was used to wrap mummies. One of Herodas’ poems describes women going to a cobbler for dildos that were carefully stitched from scarlet leather and are described as being very soft, ‘like the real thing’. He makes mention of straps but doesn’t expand on their purpose.
In the writings of Seneca the Elder’s Controversiae, a Roman writer, refers to lesbians as Tribades who use strap-on dildos. Likewise, Seneca the Younger, a Roman philosopher makes mention in Epistle Morales ad Lucilium of women penetrating men. Strap-on sex is also talked about in the Secret History of Prociopius; where Theodra, wife of the Emperor Justinian, is depicted as penetrating the ‘hinder parts’ of her male lovers.
7. Hibreas, a Roman Orator, is thought to have once said of Tribades, ‘I first examined the male to know if it was natural or stitched on’. Likewise, Marcus Valerius Martialis, a Latin poet, portrays Flinene Pedica as a Tribute who sodomizes the boys more heated than a husband and ‘fucks eleven girls or Boys in a single day’.
Also, in Affairs of the Heart by a Latin satirist, a direct reference to strap-on dildos is made.
“Therefore, if even men like you, Callicratidas, can find satisfaction in women, let us males fence ourselves off from each other; but, if males find intercourse with males acceptable, henceforth let women love each other too. Come now, the epoch of the future, legislator of strange pleasures, devise fresh paths for male lusts, but bestow the same privilege upon women, and let them have intercourse with each other just as men do. Let them strap to themselves cunningly contrived instruments of lechery, those mysterious monstrosities devoid of seed, and let woman lie with a woman as does a man. Let wanton tribadism — that word seldom heard, which I feel ashamed to even to utter — freely parade itself, and let our women’s chambers emulate Philaenis, disgracing themselves with Sapphic amours.
And how much better that a woman should invade the provinces of male wantonness than that the nobility of the male sex should become effeminate and the male play the part of a woman, as a woman can strap to themself these instruments and do a male as a male!”
If that isn’t enough to paint a picture of what strap-on sex might have looked like in ancient times, we find even more examples. Such as in the writings of Hipponax, a 5th-century Greek poet who describes a female using a strap-on on a Greek male. Also, a vivid tale of strap-on sex is found on papyrus which was recycled to wrap a mummy and was recovered at Oxrhynchus in Egypt.
In Lydian tone, she said, “Come hither, I will plug up your tight asshole.” And she beat my egg sack with a sprig of lilac as if I were a satyr. I fell backward, breathing heavy…”
8. A very similar passage occurs in the Satyricon of Petronius, which describes the sexual pleasures of the Emperor Nero Oenothea brought out a leathern dildo which, when she had smeared with oil, ground pepper, and pounded nettle seed, she commenced to force, little by little, up my anus. The merciless old Virago then anointed the insides of my thighs with the same decoction; finally mixing nasturtium juice with the elixir of southern wood, she gave my penis a bath and, picking up a bunch of green nettles, she commenced to strike me gently all over my penis and belly below the navel. This tale of female dominance is found within the ancient writing of Inanna and Ebih. Not only is it a story of the goddess dominating Elbih, but there are also descriptions of elaborate cross dressing transformation rituals.
9. It’s also found that strap-ons were seen in ancient Greek Theater where male only casts would wear gigantic phallus attached to their waists in satyr-plays.
No matter how obscure the history of strap-on sex, one thing remains clear; strapping on a dildo isn’t anything new. It’s been enjoyed by both female and male lovers alike throughout the ages. From the brothels of Pompeii to the hidden sex chambers of Rome, sexual exploration has historically been embraced and celebrated. Given the popularity of ancient dildos and the acceptance of male anal pleasure, it isn’t a far leap to conclude that strap-ons have played a role in sexual enjoyment throughout all history.
Godemiche team is taking a short break for the holiday. Please note that our office will be closed from Monday 14th – 18th August. The last day for the orders is Thursday the 10th August.
However, during that time we will be still replying to the emails.
If you have any urgent orders to make please send us an email, I’m sure we can help you.
We will re-open our office on Monday 21st August.
We would like to thank you for your support.
Adam & Monika