Strap-On Safety: Lube, Hygiene, Materials, and Avoiding Injury
Strap-on sex is one of the safer types of partnered sex you can have, but it’s still a good idea to take a few basic safety precautions. In this post, we’ll show you how to have the safest and sexiest strap-on experience possible.
Lube: The Essential Ingredient for Safer Strap-On Sex
Proper lubrication not only makes sex more pleasurable. It also makes it safer. Lubrication reduces friction, which prevents chafing and micro-tears in the sensitive vaginal or anal tissue. These tears are not only painful, but can increase the risk of infection and STI transmission. If you’re using a barrier such as a condom, lube can also reduce the chances of it breaking.
A good water-based lubricant is ideal for strap-on sex. Ideally, choose one made from natural, plant-based ingredients and avoid parabens, glycerin, artificial flavours and fragrances, and numbing or “desensitising” ingredients. Personally, I like Sliquid H2O and Vibeology Pure Organic. Hybrid lubes can also be a good option, though always do a patch test with your toys first. I like Liquid Silk hybrid lube.
Avoid oil-based lubes, which can cause irritation and infection, and skip the silicone-based lubes if you’re using silicone toys.
If you’re having anal strap-on sex, lube becomes even more critical. Unlike the vagina, the anus isn’t self-lubricating. Any gentle water-based lube is fine for anal play, but many people prefer a thicker, gel-type lubricant for this purpose. Sliquid Sassy is my go-to.
Can STIs Be Transmitted Through Strap-On Sex?
Yes.
Overall, playing with toys is one of the safest types of sex you can have with another person. Though it presents a significantly lower infection risk than penetrative vaginal or anal sex with a penis, and a somewhat lower risk than oral or hand sex, you can still transmit or contract an STI through strap-on sex.
You cannot spontaneously get an STI from a sex toy. That’s impossible, as these infections are only transmitted from person to person. However, a toy can act as a vector for transmission and research shows that at least some bacteria and viruses can linger on toys for hours, days, or weeks.
Follow these steps to protect yourself:
-
Choose only non-porous toys (silicone is the gold standard because it is non-toxic, non-porous, and easy to sterilise)
-
Sterilise your toys between uses using boiling water, a 10% bleach solution, or a medical-grade sterilising wipe. You can also put silicone toys through a hot cycle in the dishwasher.
-
Never share toys with a partner without sterilising them first
-
Consider using a condom on shared toys
-
Wash your strap-on harness regularly and before using it with a new partner
Remember that some STIs are also transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. This means that, even if your toys are sterilised, the close bodily contact required for strap-on sex can result in an infection being passed on.
The best ways to protect yourself from STIs are to get tested regularly, know your status, use barriers where appropriate, and talk openly about sexual health with your partner(s.)
Other Hygiene Considerations
By far the most important hygiene practice for strap-on sex is keeping your toys clean. Wash your dildos between uses and store them in a clean, dry box or drawer. If your toy has been in storage for some time, it’s a good idea to give it another wipe or rinse off before use. Some people like to use individual storage bags to keep their toys clean and free from lint or dust.
Once a dildo has been used anally, never use it vaginally (or orally) until it has been thoroughly sterilised.
Don’t forget about cleaning your harness, too. Many strap-on harnesses can be cleaned in the washing machine. Others are wipe-clean or hand-wash only. Ideally, you should wash your harness every time you use it.
Avoiding Injury During Strap-On Sex
Strap-on sex is a pretty safe activity. The biggest injury risks come from rushing things and ignoring the signals your body is giving you.
To have safer strap-on sex, take it slowly, relax, and listen to your body. Warm up slowly, with plenty of foreplay. Starting penetration with fingers or a smaller dildo can help. And remember: you don’t need to go for full penetration straight away (or at all.) Instead, try going an inch (or even less) at a time, letting your body relax and get used to the sensation before deciding if you want to go any further. Breathe and consciously relax as you go.
Strap-on sex can be intense, but it should not be painful. If anything hurts or doesn’t feel right, adjust or stop what you’re doing straight away. Pushing through pain can lead to injury. Sometimes, a change of position is all that’s needed. Pillows, position wedges, and furniture can help if positioning is a challenge.
Remember that, because a dildo doesn’t have nerves, the wearer cannot directly feel what’s happening internally during strap-on sex. This makes communication and check-ins absolutely essential. Givers: ask your partner for feedback and pay attention to their non-verbal cues. Receivers: give your partner honest feedback and speak up if something isn’t right.
Learn More About Strap-On Sex
Hi, I’m Amy. I’m a sex and relationships writer and the owner of Coffee & Kink, where I’ve been providing queer-led, pleasure-focused sex education and pleasure product reviews for almost 10 years. I’m delighted to be working with Godemiche to bring you this series of educational content on all things strap-on sex.
You can find the full series here: