Strapless Strap-Ons: What They Are and How to Use Them
If you’ve been having strap-on sex for a while and mastered the basics, you might be curious about strapless strap-ons. Perhaps you’ve seen one but have no idea how they work, or even tried one and found that it’s more challenging than it looks.
In this guide, we’ll learn all about strapless strap-ons and how to use them.
What is a strapless strap-on?
A strapless strap-on is an alternative to a traditional harness strap-on. It is a double-ended sex toy featuring a dildo on one end, and a shorter insertable bulb on the other end. The wearer inserts the bulb into their vagina, and uses the other end to penetrate their partner.
Some strapless strap-ons have inbuilt vibrators or space to insert a bullet vibrator. Some also have additional features such as external clitoral stimulators for the wearer.
Unlike harness strap-ons, strapless strap-ons can only be worn by a person with a vagina. I have heard of people trying to use them by inserting the bulb anally instead, but this is likely to be both impractical and uncomfortable.
Pros and cons of using a strapless strap-on instead of a harness
So why would you want to use a strapless strap-on instead of a harness and dildo?
Some people like strapless strap-ons because it stimulates both partners at the same time. Wearers get to enjoy more direct physical pleasure through G-spot stimulation and a feeling of vaginal fullness, and receivers get to witness their partner’s pleasure as well as their own. Without a harness in the way, it can also allow for a greater level of bodily closeness.
Some people find strapless strap-ons better for spontaneous play because there is no need to put on a harness.
For some trans and non-binary people, using a strapless strap-on can also be gender-affirming because it can feel closer to penetrating a partner with a part of your body rather than a toy.
The downside is that using a strapless strap-on can be more difficult than it looks. For this reason, I don’t recommend it to beginners. If you’re new to strap-on sex, consider trying a traditional harness strap-on first. Once you’re comfortable with that, you can try a strapless version if you still want to.
While some strap-on tops enjoy the stimulation they get from wearing a strapless strap-on, others find it distracting and prefer to focus solely on pleasuring their partner.
Strapless strap-ons also allow for less flexibility, since they come in a single size. Unlike harness strap-ons, you can’t simply swap out the dildo if you want to use something bigger, smaller, or a different shape.
Considerations when choosing a strapless strap-on
From the famed FeelDoe to the many different own-brand versions put out by countless sex toy manufacturers, there are hundreds of iterations of the strapless strap-on design to choose from. So how do you know which one to choose?
Here are five things to consider as you buy your first strapless toy:
Dildo size
What size of insertable toy does the receiver prefer? I usually recommend smaller dildos for anal penetration, particularly if you’re new to it, but your mileage may vary. Remember: bigger is not always better.
Bulb size
The wearer’s comfort is also paramount. If the bulb is too small, it may slip out (or simply not feel pleasurable for the wearer.) If it’s too big, it could be uncomfortable or painful. Think about the size and shape of your unique anatomy and your usual preferences for insertables.
Vibrating or non-vibrating?
Does the receiver enjoy internal vibrations? (Contrary to what the sex toy industry might tell you, a lot of people don’t!) Does the wearer want to feel vibrations while they’re using the toy?
If you’re not sure, choose a vibrating toy or one with space to insert a vibrator. You can always switch it off if you don’t like it.
Materials
Like all sex toys, strapless strap-ons come in a range of materials. Silicone is by far the best choice. It is body-safe, non-toxic, non-porous, hypoallergenic, and easy to clean, but also soft and comfortable to use. Avoid jelly, gel, PVC, TPE/TPR, and soft plastic toys.
Aesthetics
Yes, how your toys look matters!
Choose a toy that’s a joy for both you and your partner to use. Consider colours, styles, texturing, and realistic vs. non-realistic designs.
How to wear and use a strapless strap-on
Wearing a strapless strap-on is straightforward: insert the bulb into your vagina with the toy positioned so the dildo sticks out from between your legs. Remember to use plenty of lube when you insert the bulb; this not only makes insertion more comfortable, but prevents soreness and chafing while you thrust.
Penetrating a partner with a strapless strap-on can be a learning curve. Take things slowly and communicate as you go. Remember: the wearer can’t directly feel what the dildo is doing, so verbal check-ins are super important. If you’re the receiver, don’t be afraid to ask for adjustments if you need them.
Experiment with different positions to see what works best for you. Many users find positions where the wearer is standing or kneeling to be the most effective for strapless strap-on sex. Others prefer receiver-on-top positions, which allows them to better control the speed and angle of thrusting.
One of you may need to use your hands to guide the toy and keep it in position. If this is the case for you, positions with a lot of close body contact, such as missionary, can be more difficult.
How to keep a strapless strap-on from slipping
One of the most common challenges people have with strapless strap-on sex is that the bulb slips out of the wearer’s vagina. Lubrication, which is essential for comfortable and pleasurable sex, can also exacerbate this problem. If your toy is routinely slipping out, re-evaluate the fit. You may need a toy with a larger bulb.
A strapless strap-on is held in place by the kegel muscles. The stronger these muscles are, the easier your toy will stay in place. Strengthening your kegels also has numerous benefits for your pelvic floor health.
To engage your kegels, lift and hold your pelvic floor muscles (imagine you’re peeing and need to stop half way through–it’s the same muscles.) Hold for 3 to 5 seconds, then release. Do this a few times a day. Then, when you’re having strap-on sex, consciously engage these muscles to keep the bulb inside your vagina.
Try different positions to see which helps the toy to stay in place, and use your hands if you need to. Strapless strap-ons are often advertised as “hands-free” toys, but in reality this isn’t always the case.
Using a strapless strap-on with a harness
Despite their name, there’s nothing to stop you using a strapless strap-on with a harness!
Insert your strapless strap-on and then put on your harness over it, then feed the longer end of your strapless toy through the O-ring. The harness will give you extra stability and hold both parts of the toy in position, while you still get the benefit of mutual pleasure offered by a strapless toy. If you enjoy the sensation of a strapless strap-on but want to keep your hands free, this is a great solution that allows you to do both! Jock-strap harnesses and harness briefs work particularly well for this purpose.
Continue your strap-on adventures
Hi, I’m Amy. I’m a sex and relationships writer and the owner of Coffee & Kink, where I’ve been providing queer-led, pleasure-focused sex education and pleasure product reviews for almost 10 years. I’m delighted to be working with Godemiche to bring you this series of educational content on all things strap-on sex.
You can find the full series here: